Lately, I’ve been going through uncertain times.
Times when nothing seems clear. Times when the future can feel scary. More than anything, times that force me to face my deepest insecurities.
Among those insecurities, the deepest and most fearsome of all is the one we all carry in one form or another. The nightmare that chases us in our sleep and wakes us before dawn with our heartbeat racing:
What if I’m not enough?
It comes in many shapes and sizes, and it tells us all different stories. But they are only masks behind which the same demon threatens us all.
We work, we marry, we pray, and we seek in its name.
We try to show the monster that we can win, but it is always one step ahead, mocking us.
The bigger issue, though, is when it ceases to be merely a threat and becomes our jailer. To try to help avoid this, I write.
I want to share with you the three keys I have found that have strengthened me, because I believe they are the way through uncertainty and fear.
A lighthouse in the darkness, marking the way.
So here they are:
1. I Am in Good Hands
There is a G-d, with an entire universe in tow, guiding things toward your good.
It might get hard. It might seem hopeless. But it is heading in a good direction, in one way or another.
There will always be good times and hard times. That’s life. But we have a choice in the matter of how we will experience them. We can choose whether to live in the present, or spend our lives fearing the future. To believe in the benevolence of it all, or fall into nihilism.
It is a choice.
A choice that impacts our entire lives.
Some may call it Emunah (faith), while others may look at it as the Law of Attraction. Whatever name we give it, there is no doubt that it makes for a better life to those who possess it.
You will find arguments against it. Sometimes even good arguments.
But there are just as many arguments in its favor.
In the end, it comes down to a choice.
“And you shall choose life.”
2. The Process Is the Way
As we go through these periods, we may have faith and believe in the ultimate goodness of our future.
Yet the road itself is full of holes.
There are ups and there are downs.
And you have to go through all of them.
Because when you really think about it, what you truly want is not money, fame, power, or any of the many excuses we give ourselves.
What we are looking for deep inside is the feeling that we were enough. That we left our mark. That our life was ultimately worth it.
And you don’t get there by staying put, or by having it easy.
You get there by going through the gauntlet and coming out the other side.
You are never going to become the hero you want to be if you never fight the dragon.
If you win the lottery tomorrow, chances are you will quickly discover that fulfillment is still missing, and find yourself wondering what to do next.
Because the joy is not in the goal itself.
It is in the pride that comes from earning it.
So realize that the process is not an obstacle to what we want.
It is the way to it.
The only way.
The unavoidable way.
Because any shortcut would fail to take us where we are truly trying to go.
Appreciate the downs.
Learn to see the gift in what they bring.
3. Take One Step
The long-term future is not in our hands.
Every step we take trying to see ahead only subdivides into an increasingly infinite number of possibilities.
The future is simply not our realm.
We cannot see it.
Of course, we should try to plan ahead as best we can.
But we must also realize that the only thing we truly have is the present.
The far future is a gift that has not yet been delivered.
So we really have two options.
We can worry incessantly and suffer through countless futures that never arrive.
As Mark Twain famously said:
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Or we can choose to believe that the One who created this wonderful mystery we call the universe has a plan.
And that it is a good one.
Psalms tells us that we may cast our burden upon Hashem (G-d).
Let it not be your burden anymore.
So the third key is this:
Use what you have.
Use the present.
Participate in creating your blessings by focusing on making today productive.
Today, even if you don’t understand where you are going.
Today, even if you don’t know how you will get there.
No matter what, today is going to be productive.
I will move forward.
One step.
That’s all we have to do.
Take one step.
And while we’re at it, we might as well try to enjoy it.